In need of advice...emotionally and geographically unavailable men

[Mercedes Powers]

So...I have a long story...and I have no idea what to do at this moment...

To start off, I have known this guy for going on three years now. I have always tried to keep close contact with him because he is one of my closest guy friends and I have pretty much loved him since I first saw him. About a year and a half ago we finally tried dating. For the week that we actually dated it was wonderful. He was romantic, sweet, and amazing. However, he was set up in a drug scandel and I don't know what else happened after that because he pretty much cut everyone out of his life after that. Then about six months ago I found him on facebook again and we started talking about everything. He missed me and I had missed him. We had started talking about everything and he explained everything to me. We started texting everyday and talking everyday. Then I went back home and hungout with him for two amazing nights...but when I went home he was distant again. After he had told me that he deeply cared and wanted to be with me. Now he texts me occasionally but not to the same degree...So have pretty much stopped talking to him because I was tired of always texting him and him never putting in the effort to talk to me. I however, still love him and probably always will...It sucks to figure out that the one person that you want doesn't want you. But that brings me back to my current problem.

I went to Maine with my best friend to help her move back home, and to get away from crazy guys at home (another really long story)...but she was getting back with her ex and was staying at his house pretty much every night, so instead of staying alone at her house with her mom, I decided to stay with her ex's roommate just to have a place to crash at night. He was a really good cuddler and a really sweet guy that unfortunately will probably always love his ex. It was hard to leave both my best friend and him after only having a week to say goodbye and hello. I really felt a connection with this guy and he felt it too. But...he lives 30+ hours away and I will probably never see him again. Also, another girl back in Maine has had a crush on him forever and is trying to make her way into his life.

I don't know what to do anymore...it seems like any guy that I like is either emotionally unavailable or geographically unavilable. Any advice would be greatly appreciated...however...I don't even know what kind of advice I'm looking for...maybe just someone to talk to...

[Evan]

Well to start off… I can relate to some degree on finding that right person, and feeling like you’ve found them. “it seems like any woman that I like isn’t emotionally available”

Here’s what I think:

For what you’ve said in your story about the first guy. He seems like he’s disappointed himself, and everyone around him (in his eyes). To some degree I can understand what he’s going through. I don’t do drugs, but I did something that (lets just say fucked up a lot of my friendships). It sticks with you for along time until you can start to mend, and be happy in his own shoes. And that’s why I believe he started to become disconnect with everyone’s else because of the fact that he feels like he’s not adequate enough for his own self worth.

Here’s my advice:
If you love that person very much, then it’s best to find out what’s really become of the ending situation. Try to find out what happened. Why he’s so distant from everyone. But to some degree, it’s what he’s doing for himself now in order to stop being distant, and finding away out of living in the past. Who knows what you two talked about online? It depends on if you two talked about more of what happened in the past, or if you two talked about each other, and the future things that were happening now (the present).

The second situation your having a problem with, is distance. I’m never sure about the stats on distance in relationships. If it’s something that feels right, then go for it. Always fallow your heart, because that’s the correct way.

I hope I helped a little, and I hope things go well in your life. Your seem to me like a smart woman, with a lot of love in your heart.